January 2012
85 posts
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so i guess i’m going back to america now.
December 2011
74 posts
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the pills tell me it's bedtime:
but i suppose before i sleep, some nonsense to comfort the stark loneliness of an empty apartment on new years eve.
in 2012 i will
act happier. (no matter how much faking will slaughter me)
be nicer. (and smile more)
get straight A’s. (attend class for once)
speak my mind.
resolutions aren’t my style really, they’re rather flimsy. this is a to-do list.
happy new years!
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fuck this
i’m just going to sleep through new years, sober and somber. none of this is worth it.
fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it.
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i’m so fucking depressed.
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Whenever someone who knows you disappears, you lose one version of yourself....
– Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet (via pavorst)
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What was more, they had taken the first step toward genuine friendship. They had...
– Arthur C. Clarke (via pavorst)
I like art, and by art I mean music, poetry, sex, paintings, the human body,...
– Hunter Reveur (via misconstrued-deceptions)
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I like the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when...
– Dave Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (via pavorst)
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still failing in this attempt to gain weight.
-5.
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i hope i grow up to be unconventionally beautiful.
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on a bathroom wall i wrote i’d rather argue with you than to be with...
– The Blame Game, Kanye West
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i guess you could say:
that i seriously fucked up this semester (gotta love that solid B average). why am i not distressed?
because it was worth it.
that’s right, i conquered college because i proved i could survive.
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this feeling right now:
frightens me.
and this vulnerability is allowing myself to be cracked open - at mercy of your chapped fingers. i’m warning you now,
you have me at a precipice with my arms spread wide and momentum tilting backwards in a free fall. i’m just trying to say i’m putting trust on you (more than i’d like to admit…ever) -
to not leave me in pieces with sharp, jagged...
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Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you...
– Janet Fitch, White Oleander (via pavorst)
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One of the things I find most offensive about what people say about our music is...
– Thom Yorke (via lonelyspeck)
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pavorst:
Don’t trust them, they’re writers. They’ll love you so well, they’ll immortalize you. But when they stop loving you, they’ll fictionalize you and swallow you whole.
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Abstract Sunday: The World Map of Useless... →
kittensnthings:
Christoph Niemann illustrates the most useless stereotypes around the world.
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‘It’s been three weeks; don’t you think it’s time you got out of bed?’
No. The...
– Andrea Gibson, Blue Blanket (via uglyy-side)
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December feels like my lungs are perpetually inhaling. Soon, I will hold so many...
– pavorst
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is being someone (or thing) that you've never...
a good thing?
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I’m sorry. The one sentence that I despise out of all the sentences in the...
– pavorst
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picked up my violin today for the first time
…in months.
because i felt suffocated by the plastic-cling wrap. and fuck it felt amazing to be good at something again - to do something as natural as breathing.
what am i doing here?
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pavorst:
Yesterday afternoon, I caught a fragment of conversation between a mother and her little boy. He asked her why he needed to nap. She said:
“If you take small naps, you’ll get tiny dreams. And then those dreams fall into your pocket when you wake up. You’ll be happy all day because of the tiny dreams. But if you don’t take small naps, the tiny dreams die. You don’t want that, do you?”
...
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Tatiana
nickmiller:
I never planned to love her nor, despite my intense loneliness at the time, use her to fill the emptiness within me; rather, I was interested only in saving her, without any idea how, from the hellfire that engulfed her. My love for her came later—long after I knew about her passion for learning—in the flash of a summer glance around a table set with two dinner plates and two glasses...
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There are moments in your life when everything slowly starts to change. At first...
– pavorst